Warning: Sexual Assault

“Stay here…” Victor shut his eyes and exhaled. “With me.”

Eleonor looked down, frowning. Hawak pa rin niya ang utensils at nag-iisip ng puwedeng isagot kay Victor nang hindi ito magagalit o ma-offend dahil wala naman talaga siyang maramdaman. Living here inside the manor was the last thing she thought could happen. Ni wala sa isip niyang aalukin siya ni Victor.

“Is there someone?” Victor’s voice was hoarse, low, and deep. “Meron ba rito sa loob na… mas gusto mong kasama kaysa sa ‘kin?”

“W-Wala,” Eleonor lightly shook her head. “Wala, Victor. It’s just that…”

“Then why?” he huffed. “Why? I will never understand… why.”

Sa pagkakataong ito, mabilis na ang tibok ng puso ni Eleonor na halos parang naririnig na niya iyon sa tainga niya dahil hindi na niya alam kung ano ang susunod na isasagot nang hindi nasasaktan ang lalaking nakaluhod sa gilid niya. Gone the warm gaze who used to look at her and was immediately changed with dark and restless glint.

Nang hindi siya sumagot, tumayo si Victor, tumalikod, tumingala, at sinuklay ang buhok gamit ang sariling mga daliri. Kita niya ang bawat paggalaw ng balikat nito at ang lalim at bigat ng bawat paghinga na naging dahilan para mas makaramdam siya ng kaba.

“I saved you…” Victor murmured without looking at her. “I gave everything for you, provided for you, made sure you’re comfortable, you’re happy.”

Eleonor didn’t respond, but her mind was screaming, “I didn’t ask for anything…” but was too afraid to voice it all out.

“And you can’t even…” Victor hmmed and faced her. “I love you. I have always loved you. Even before, Eleonor. Hindi mo ba ramdam ‘yon? Hindi mo man lang ba nakita noon? H-Hindi mo man lang ba nakikita ngayon?”

“V-Victor…”

“Meron bang iba?” pag-uulit nito sa tanong kanina. “Is it… Marcus? You laugh with you talk to him.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya sa sinabi ni Victor. “Hindi! Bestfriend mo si Marcus at alam mong mabait at ganoon siya sa lahat,” aniya sa mahinahong boses.

Victor licked his lower lip while gazing at her angrily. “Kenji? Madalas kayong magkausap. He helps you water your plants and even fixed your…” he scoffed. “Kenji, right? Do you like him?”

“No…” Eleonor exhaled and shook her head. “Sa gulo ng mundong ‘to, uunahin ko pa ba ‘yan, Victor? Wala akong ibang gusto and—”

“But Kenji likes you, am I correct?”

Lumalim ang bawat paghinga ni Eleonor sa tanong ni Victor dahil walang ganoon. Magkaibigan lang sila. Naging magkaibigan sila at madalas na nag-uusap. Victor wasn’t wrong on this part, but she didn’t like him like that. Gusto niya ang pagkakaibigan nila ni Kenji dahil nakakabiruan niya ito ngunit hanggang doon lang.

“We’re just friends, Victor. That’s it,” Eleonor explained calmly. “Walang ganoon. We’re neighbors, and we’re both surviving. Lahat naman tayo kaya sana please…”

Eleonor didn’t know why, but it felt like her words gave Victor a different impression. The way his eyes darkened even more, the glare, heaving, and how he slowly walked towards the door felt like something was about to happen. Wala naman sana. Hindi naman ganoon si Victor.

She hoped she was just overthinking.

Tumayo siya para ayusin ang pinagkainan nila. The steak was good, perfectly cooked, actually. Sobrang sarap ng pagkain, maganda ang bulaklak, maging ang singsing na iniwan ni Victor sa gilid ng lamesa ay kuminang nang medyo mataman ng ilaw.

As she thought about all the words and the three words Victor uttered, she realized that all the signs were presented from the very start. College pa lang sila, madalas na ring nakikipag-usap si Victor sa kaniya, madalas na mayroong bigay na inumin tulad ng strawberry shortcake milkshake na paborito niya o kaya ay simpleng bar of chocolate.

Naging close sila sa isang groupings ng minor subject. Lima sila at normal namang nag-uusap ang lahat. Isa pa, nagbibigay rin naman si Victor sa iba. Hindi niya pansin ang pagkakaiba hanggang sa unti-unti niyang na-realize habang inaalala ang nakaraan na siya ang madalas na mas maraming bigay, siya ang nauunang binibigyan, pangalan niya ang unang sinasambit, at sa kaniya lang ito palagi nakatabi.

She overlooked everything.

She liked the friendship between them, not this one. Wala siyang maramdamang ganoon kay Victor. She saw him as her boss, the leader, a friend… nothing more.

Ipinagpatuloy niya ang paglilinis ng pinagkainan nila at ibinaba na rin muna ang bulalak sa gilid ng lamesa. Kung tutuusin, gandang-ganda siya sa pagkakaayos ng bouquet at kaagad na naisip kung saang vase niya ito ilalagay. She would try to preserve this one, thinking this might be the last time she’d receive one, too.

As she was busy cleaning the entire office, Victor stormed into the room and walked towards the office table without even looking at her. Nakita niya ang mga susi at baril na itinago sa likuran ng pantalon bago muling lumabas ng opisina at malakas na sumara ang pinto. And for a moment, she thought about him. Mabait naman ito sa kaniya, hindi ba niya kayang ibigay ang gusto nito?

Magulo na ang mundo, puwede bang pagaanin man lang niya para kay Victor na hindi rin naman tumigil sa pagtulong sa kanila?

But that would also mean doing something she was against.

Nang matapos ang pagliligpit sa opisina at paghugas sa pinagkainan nila, bumalik siya sa guest room kung saan siya nagtatrabaho para ligpitin ang mga papeles na tapos na niya at ihanda ang ilan pang gagawin niya kinabukasan. Hindi rin niya namalayan na malalim na ang gabi. Wala pa rin si Victor.

Gusto sana niya itong kausapin tungkol sa nangyari kanina para humingi ng pasensya o kung mayroon ba siyang puwedeng ibang gawin. Saktong patapos na siya sa ginagawa nang marinig ang sasakyang huminto. Sumilip siya sa bintana at nakita si Victor na lumabas ng sasakyan, sandaling nakipag-usap kay Macus at tumingala sa bintana kung nasaan siya.

Eleonor exhaled and thought of the right words she would say. She heard the footsteps and thought Victor would come to her, but he didn’t, so she decided to go to his office instead. Dalawang beses siyang kumatok nang marinig ang boses nito at nang mabuksan ang pinto, nakita niyang hawak nito ang singsing na iniwan niya sa ibabaw ng lamesa.

“Hindi talaga?” Victor deeply uttered.

She entered the office and carefully closed the door. Naglakad siya papalapit kay Victor at hinarap ito. “It’s not that I don’t like you or anything. I respect you so much and as much as I wanna—”

“Ano pa ba ang kulang?” Tinitigan ni Victor ang singsing na hawak. “I can give you literally everything, pero ano’ng ang kulang? I will give you everything.”

“M-Maraming babaeng may gusto sa ‘yo rito sa subdivision,” mahinahong sambit ni Eleonor. Naglakad siya sa lamesa kung saan sila kumain at kinuha ang petal na nalaglag mula sa bulaklak. “Pero kung—”

Eleonor gasped when she felt a hand encircle her waist, a body behind her, and Victor kissing the back of her head. She stilled and couldn’t move. The way his hand caressed her stomach, how his body was against hers, and deep breathing at the back of her neck.

“Victor,” she stammered. “H-Huwag ganito.”

But the man behind her didn’t listen. His breathing was ragged, and he said, “If I can’t have you, that no one else will…” Voice hoarse and breathy. “No one else should.”

Sinubukan niyang humiwalay ngunit mas humigpit pa ang pagkakahawak ni Victor sa katawan niya. Pinilit niya ang sariling lumayo, pero mas hinila pa siya. Malaki ang katawan ni Victor kumpara sa kaniya. Tinatraydor na rin siya ng katawan niya dahil hindi siya makagalaw.

Her mind was screaming, but her voice became muffled. Her mind literally begged for her body to move, to finally free herself from Victor’s caging, but she couldn’t move an inch.

“Victor…” she begged. “W-Wag…”

But the man behind her didn’t listen. Victor’s hand travelled from her stomach to her left breast, cupping and lightly kneading. Again, she begged him to stop, and she tried to move… but Victor pinned her to the table even more.

—STOP READING IF YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE—